Bedsheet Queue

Humanity has split the atom, walked on the Moon, and taught a telephone to recognise a dog. And yet, standing at the edge of the bed, we still ask the same question our ancestors asked: "When did I last change these sheets?" Nobody knows. It could be a week. It could be a geological era. Science has been suspiciously quiet on the matter. Until now. Bedsheet Queue is the long-overdue breakthrough in sheet-changing technology. It remembers, so you don't have to pretend to. WHAT IT DOES • Tracks every bed in the house. Each bed gets its own schedule, because the main bedroom and the guest room live very different lives. • Tells you when a change is due. A polite reminder on the day, and a slightly more pointed one if you ignore it. No judgement. Some judgement. • Keeps a queue of what goes on next. Line up your bedding sets for each bed and the app tells you whose turn it is. No more using the same favourite set until it turns transparent. • Follows the laundry. Dirty, washing, drying, ready. See at a glance what is clean, and what has been "drying" on a chair since Tuesday. • Catalogues your collection. Photos, colours, size, material, where you bought it and what it cost. Yes, you can finally work out the cost per night of those fancy linen sheets. You may not want to. • Pauses when you're away. Going on holiday? Pause the count. Nights nobody slept in the bed don't count against it. This is the fairnesved. • Remembers everything. A full historset, with charts. If anyone ever askswhat was on the guest bed last March, you will have an answer, and they will regret asking. WHO IT IS FOR People with one bed and a vague sense of guilt. People with five beds and a spreadsheet they would like to retire. People who own eleven People who have ever sniffed apillowcase to make a decision. IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY? No. Neither is a dishwasher, and look how that turned out. A freshly made bed is one of life's reliably good things. Bedsheet Queue just makes sure it happens on purpose rather than by accident. Download it, change your sheets, and who knows exactly what night it is.