Barkoff

Five bosses. Ten seconds each. One microphone. Barkoff is a single-player boss ladder for your voice. Each fight lasts eight to ten seconds and is scored on two things: how FAST you bark and how LOUD. Speed counts for more — anyone can shout, but holding two barks a second while a dog barks back is another matter. WHAT MAKES IT HARD Volume alone will not carry you. The meter weighs your bark rate above your volume, so a fight is a rhythm test with a loudness floor. Each boss denies you one of the two axes and dares you to win the other. THE FIVE • Pipsi — small, fast, deeply annoying. Your warm-up. • Turbo Bublik — a loaf with a motor. Out-shout him; you won't out-pace him. • DJ Havkins — reads the room and adapts fastest. • Baron von Gavstein — old money, enormous lungs. Beat him on speed. • MEGAHAV — fast and loud. Good luck. Each stays locked until you beat the one before it. Medals record how convincingly you won. NO SPEECH RECOGNITION The app measures two numbers: how far a sound sits above the noise in your room, and how long it lasts. It cannot tell what you are saying and does not care what language you speak. SINGLE PLAYER, NO NETWORK No accounts, no leaderboards, no online opponents, and no network requests of any kind. Everything runs on your phone. PRIVACY The microphone is analysed live on device and discarded. Nothing is recorded, stored or transmitted. Ten seconds a fight. Your neighbours will still hear it.