Bus 3rd

Bus 3rd is a PARODY. It looks like a bus-arrivals app, but everything in it is gloriously, deliberately wrong. It will not help you catch a real bus. That's the whole point. No real routes. No real timings. No GPS. No accounts. Just comedy, offline, on your phone. THE GAGS ARRIVALS BOARD Live, chaotic countdowns that make no sense. Buses arriving in -3 min. A bus that's "napping." Another one due in 420 min. The 88 to Toa Payoh is "soon™." CHOPE A SEAT The great Singaporean tradition, digitised. Tap a seat to chope it with your virtual tissue packet. Look away and a random auntie steals it. As nature intended. LIVE MAP™ A hand-painted map of the island with a wandering bus that ignores all roads, takes a wrong turn, and drives triumphantly into the sea. No Google Maps. No API key. No shame. PASSENGER 2048 Merge commuters to level up: School Boy → Uncle → Auntie → all the way to the mighty Bus Captain. Same tiles merge, the aisle doesn't block. Weirdly addictive. ASK THE UNCLE (optional) Chat with a gruff, unbothered bus uncle who has seen everything and is impressed by nothing. Get your commute roasted. Receive a personalised "I Give Up" certificate for the day. PRANK NOTIFICATIONS Local-only silly alerts you can fire off yourself. Nobody's data leaves your phone. PRIVACY (the serious bit) Bus 3rd is fully OFFLINE by default. No backend. No accounts. No analytics. No location. Nothing leaves your device. There's an optional "online jokes" mode (off by default) that fetches extra AI-generated comedy. When it's off, the app never talks to the internet. When it's on, only the joke prompt is sent — never your identity, never your location. A DISCLAIMER YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY READ This app is a comedy / satire product. All timings, routes, stops, seats, maps and notifications are fictional and intentionally absurd. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any real transit operator or authority. Do not use it to plan real travel. If you miss your bus because of Bus 3rd, that's between you and the void. Made with love and mild despair for anyone who's ever watched three full buses sail past their stop. Stand by Bus 3rds.